In my poll on Facebook 92% of you said that you fear change …

Help a friend on this world friendship day.

So today I wanted to write my blog post about how to handle a fear of change, because I think that this is an important topic.

To begin with, let’s address WHY we fear change……

We fear change for 2 main reasons…

We fear change for 2 main reasons…

1. We fear letting go of what has been : Often we get used to life being a certain way, and sometimes, even when we are miserable and want to see change in our lives, there can be certain behaviours, and even people, that we just don’t want to let go of. For example, if you want to stop drinking you may need to say goodbye to drinking partners…

2. We fear what might be… We can fear the unknown…. we have no idea how life may be when we get the change that we claim that we are seeking. What if we din’t like life as it is when the change comes for us? What if we get there, and still are not happy?

Sometimes, staying put, even when we are miserable can seem like the easier option. We become used to patterns and habits and in some ways, we feel safe with them. We know where we stand for example with unhappiness, but if you have never truly been happy, you don’t know how you may handle that.

I know, it sounds a biit silly doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t be happy to be happy? But think of people who want money and then become millionaires, sometimes, the brain just can’t handle it.

This is why it is good to explore things before undergoing your change work. Ask yourself the following:

1. What do you want to change and WHY? Try to think of the reasons you want to let go of the one thing and why you want the something different. Be realistic and honest with yourself about it.

2. What is the benefit of staying where you are right now? There are often secondary gains for remaining where we currently are and changing can mean that we have to almost go through an identity shift, which can sound scary.

Of course, as a change work therapist I am confident in saying that working through such issues with someone like me can and will help the change much easier. If you want to discuss what is holding you back why not book a clarity call with me.? You can do so here.

My main advice for getting over your fear of change is…

See it as a journey and not just a destination. Think over the issues that I have raised above and really do some ground work. Have a therapy session or talk to yourself on a really honest level – list all of the things that keep you where you are, list the things that inspire you to go to where you want to go and look at all of the possible reasons as to why change may be difficult for you…

There’s nothing to feel embarassed about as all of this is actually perfectly normal and much more common than you perhaps think!

Change IS a little scary, but if you truly want it then you will go through the process necessary to get there, and understand that it IS a PROCESS.

Until the next time, I hope that this has been of some help to you, and have a great rest of your week

Chris. 

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