Some people went back to work this week, whilst some of us remained at home during a slightly loosened ‘lockdown’. Today I want to talk about how to create a new ‘normal’ when your normal has disappeared.
I spoke to a client this week and she told me that she did not want to go back out to work as she still lived in fear of Coronavirus, yet part of her was a little bit envious that her best friend had returned to her place of employment, as she had something that resembled normal.
As the conversation progressed, i asked her whether she thought that what he friend was now experiencing really was anything like normal…. having to remain two metres away from people, wearing a mask and not being able to use public transport.
‘It sounds a bit like a movie doesn’t it’ she replied to me – and she realised that what any of us are experiencing, whether we went back to work this week or didn’t – is nothing like what we once thought of as normal.
NORMAL DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE REALLY, DOES IT? BUT DOES THAT MEAN THAT WE CAN’T CREATE A NEW NORMAL?
Create a new normal – what will this look like for you?
I suggested to my client that she create a new normal, and her first reaction was to compare her life as it is in this moment with the life that she refers to as normal. ‘But this is nothing like normal’ she repeated – and I got her to think about what will happen if we can never go back to THAT normal? Does that mean that we spend the rest of our lives looking back, mourning?
To some extent we may need to mourn a time that we classed as normal and accept that for the time being that normal cannot exist anymore. We need to look at what we have in this moment and define our new normal. if you are part of a similar age group to me, you will remember a time when we had to use the house phone, and drag it into the bedroom, hoping that the family could not hear us. But then the time came when we saw the arrival of the internet, and the mobile phone.
Now of course, I know your first reaction might be similar to my clients – ‘well those inventions were positive changes, they added something to our standard of living’ – but not everyone saw things as clearly as that. And we can sit back now and look back at ‘the end of an era’ with a warm smile and nostalgia. Every generation can say ‘back in my day’ and ‘kids today have no idea about…’.
Yes, this in ways seems overwhelming as EVERYTHING has changed in one massive swoop hasn’t it. But once that shock subsides, and things slowly start to move forwards again, think about how you want your new normal to look like.
- Choose things to do that light you up from the inside.
- Re-consider your career – are you doing what makes you happy?
Think about what normal can and will look like for you and take some control of things.
What can you do today that’s normal?
Look at the things that you can do today that are still part of your normal – things such as creating a routine, having breakfast, reading a book, going for a walk, watching your favourite tv shows. if you used to see certain friends at the weekend, meet up on ZOOM and share a drink together – some people have even got together to do an online gig or disco.
And things about things that you now consider to be your ‘lockdown normal’ – things such as taking that daily walk to such and such a place, or speaking with your family on Facetime. We are creatures of habit, I don’t know about you but there are things that iI already do not want to give up, even if we go back to our ‘old normal’. Think about what those might be for you – and try and pick out the good and new things that you have discovered and add those to your list of new normal.
Change is never easy to deal with and this level of change in a sudden and short space of time is going to create shockwaves. Give yourself time and permission to come to terms with things and know, that it’s normal to experience some resistance when looking at creating a new normal – you didn’t CHOOSE to let go of the old one so this isn’t necessarily going to feel natural for you.
If you are having a difficult time adapting to a new normal and find that it is causing you to feel stressed, anxious or depressed, book a free clarity call with me so that I can help you understand the best steps that you can take in moving forwards. BOOK YOUR CALL HERE.
Speak next week and remember – take things one day at a time, change might FEEL uncomfortable but this will not last forever.