Ghosting is on the increase and if you have ever been the victim of it you will know that the emotional effects can be devastating. More and more people are suffering from a phobia of ghosting (ghostaphobia) so here is how you can deal with it.
In today’s post, I wanted to talk about the fear of ghosting or Ghostaphobia and look at what you can do about it. I have had a few clients come to see me about ghosting, and I would suggest that some people even develop a phobia. So, whether you have experienced it, or are worried that you may experience it, here is what you can do to handle this.
Try Not To Trust Blindly Or Too Quickly.
You may think that the person that you are talking to is the best thing since sliced bread but always have your wits about you. People are great at putting across their best bits when we first meet somebody, and the first 3 months are the ‘glossy’ period where we are only allowed to see what they want us to see. Strike a balance – keep your wits about you. This doesn’t mean become untrusting, it means to allow a time frame within which you remain open. So many people who are ghosted say things like ‘he/she seemed so genuine, I thought they were the one’ and it is this idealization of who somebody may be, and what you hope to have with them that can lead to greater pain if you are ghosted.
Until Someone Makes It Official, Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket.
Date – and keep on dating, until someone makes it official with you. Picture the scene, you are talking to three guys on social media when one of them takes a shine to you. You ditch the other two guys and make everything official – but has he done the same for you? Keep on dating, keep a busy schedule, and don’t make it official until it is agreed by both of you. You may think that the other person is the one for you, but then they go and ghost you.
Know That Ghosting Is More About The Other Person Than You.
It can be so easy to feel rejected, abandoned, and irrelevant, when someone ghosts you. But this says more about THEM than it does you. For someone to ghost you, it can mean that they were already married, have a fear of commitment, and do not know how to communicate with people. See their departure as a blessing, and send them on their way. Don’t let this experience stop you from putting yourself out there and trusting people.
Know That Ghosting And Ghostophobia Is On The Rise – It’s Not Personal.
Social media has allowed us to ghost people easily – if you have had enough of talking to someone and you are too scared to tell them, you simply unfriend and block someone, and the problem is sorted. Of course, for the person being ghosted (and I do not advocate it!), it can feel like you are left wondering what is wrong with you. Did you do something? Have you upset them? If you could just know what you did wrong then surely you can fix things?
Chances are the person who ghosted you just wasn’t as invested in the relationship or friendship as you were and you’re better off out of it, as you have now seen their true colours.
Whichever way we look at it, ghosting is something that is here to stay, and so my main advice, is that if somebody ghosts you, see it as a lucky escape! If they are capable of that, then you should not want to hang out with them anyway.
Hope this article helps you, and if you have a real phobia of ghosting then please do get in touch so that we can work on that and re-build your confidence for you. Book a call with me here and let’s talk.
Have a great week,